Are we rejecting ourselves when it comes to our passion, our vision, our dreams, our abundance, sense of receiving, or our self worth? And if we are, is it because we would rather reject ourselves, rather than have someone else reject us?
Sometimes self-rejection comes from feeling like we are never enough, we’re not good enough, we don’t do enough, we don’t learn enough, just a feeling that we are not good enough for whatever situation we are in. We are always wanting to be more, in our families, with our friends, in our appearance or even in our money situation. We are not open to recieving the good things in life. We don’t think we deserve whatever good comes to us. And if anything good does come into our lives we look at it as if its a fluke. Sometimes, we even think that if something good happens to us, then something bad is bound to happen right away.
Sometimes self-rejection comes in the form of dimming our light. A lot of times we dim our light because we don’t want to be responsible for the expectations that are put upon us, or we are afraid of the lack of approval from others. We know that if we dim our light we can stay in the background where nobody will notice us, then, if we make a mistake, we won’t be horrialby embarassed. Because it seems that the need for other people’s approval of us is more important than the need to approve of ourselves.
Often times when we get rejected, we spend so much time worrying about being rejected, that we don’t realize that there is something better waiting for us around the next corner. The important thing about rejection is that we learn from it and become a better person. Other people’s opinion of us should not define us. We need to give ourselves permission to be who we are reguardless of what other’s think or say about us. This is not an easy task, because we are so used to being who everyone else thinks we are, it is hard to show who we really are.
What we need to remember is that self-rejection is something we do to ourselves, whether conciously or unconciously. We need to stop taking things personally, because everyone comes from their own perspective, and that is their perspective, it has nothing to do with us. If we can develop our rejection muscle, and notice when we are in rejection mode, then we will understand and recognize, that is not our story. Once we start to recognize when we are being hard on ourselves, we can then, stop, and nurture ourselves, doing at least one kind thing for ourselves during the day. This will give us some balance, and help us learn how to give ourselves permission to be ourselves.
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When the word courage is looked up in the dictionary its definition is: “have the courage of one’s convictions, to act in accordance with one’s beliefs, especially in spite of criticism.” So, I would think that it is safe to say that it takes courage to be our true self. It also takes courage to show people who our true self is, because we often feel very vulnerable allowing others to see who we really are. It is the courage to “Be”!
What does it mean to be our true self? Since being ourselves is a learning process, we are constantly becoming who we are. We are constantly learning what we like, what we don’t like, what resonates with us and what we reject. Some of what being our true self means is how we naturally come across to other people, there are some things about us that we can’t hide. Our mannerisms, the sound of our voice, our cultural upbringing, the way we look, these are all things that are just a part of who we are. So, what is courage? Courage is, not only taking the necessary steps to figure out who we really are, but also allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough for others to see who we really are. This is a process, that can be a twisting, winding road that leads us to the courage to “Be”.
There can come a point in our lives when we have kind of a “light bulb” moment when we say to ourselves, “oh, this is who I am”. But, in the process leading up to that moment, we have been in the dark, being more concerned with pleasing other people and trying to live up to their expectations. We have been more focused on what is going on outside of ourselves like children, husband, friends and our career. But, then, a moment comes when we realize we have not been focusing on our true self, who we are. We all of sudden feel the need to stop, relax, breathe and connect with our inner selves. We find the courage to say to ourselves “If I don’t do this, then I will never figure out who I am”, and then the journey begins that leads us to the courage to “Be”.
Even without our realizing it we are constantly changing. But when we become aware and want to discover our true self, then we can become more and more familiar with who we are, which brings on even more profound change. When we finally awaken, then we begin to come to an understanding that every challenge that we go through, all the uncomfortable situations that we find ourselves in, are all a part of uncovering who we are and allow us to discover what we stand for. We are now in control of the process of sculpting our new self. With courage and vulnerability we move forward in the process of loving ourselves and discovering the courage to “Be”.
The beginning of this process of loving ourselves is to love ourselves right where we are. We have to become aware of certain gifts we have, our unique talents and personalities, there is only one of us. Part of this process is learning how to be comfortable in our own skin. There are things about us that make us unique and some people, or we ourselves, may think of these things as negative traits. But, once we have the courage and the vulnerability to connect to our true self, then those negative things can be turned into possitive attributes. The things that used to be “no’s” can be turned into “yes’s”. Learning how to turn our negative traits into possitive ones is what having the courage to “Be” is all about.
The lessons that come with learning how to be our true self can sometimes be painful. Each persons pain is unique to them. But, whatever the painful situation may be, it takes courage to get through the pain that makes us who we are and allows us the gift of knowing ourselves and what we are made of. You may look at someone else’s pain and say, “I could never go through that”, but the truth is God will never give us anything that we can’t handle. The lessons we learn when going through our difficulties are priceless. We become vulnerable and humbled by them, becoming more compassionate for others and not so quick to judge other people, because we learn that everyone has their own trials and tribulations that their going through. As human beings we also have the tendancy to think other people have it so much better than us, so then we put up a facade and pretend that we’re not going through anything, but the truth is we are all human being and we all are going through something. We are all searching for the courage to “Be”.
We must understand that there is a fine line between accepting, who and where we are now, and the room for growth and evolution in our lives. We have to realize the need for reinventing ourselves and becoming a better person. If we stay stuck where we are, then there is no motivation to move forward and become that better person. Our motivation comes from the courage to be OK with who we are at any given moment and understanding that we cannot change some of our core traits about ourselves. But, also realizing each day brings along with it joy and pain, trials and triumphs, good and bad. Its how we deal with these things and what we learn from them that changes who we are and allows us the courage to “Be”.
All of us need to find something in our lives that give us a sense of passion. Something that we love to do, that wakes us up every morning and get us moving. We all should have the feeling that we are needed and that what we are doing is not only changing us, but also the world. Making sure to surround ourselves with people who insist that we be our true self, people who will challenge us to become a better person. It is important to knowing where we come from and what makes us who we are. It is important to know who the people in our life are that have given us the tools we need to become our true self and keep us moving forward and give us the courage to “Be”.
Remember to stay in the present moment to be aware of the choices we make that bring about change, giving ourselves permission to make mistakes as long as we learn from them. Don’t look at what somebody else has, or want to be someone else, because that is not who we are. By trying to be someone else, the world misses out on our unique presence, our true self and what we bring to the lives of others and the world, which is the courage to “Be”.
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Life is all about change. Everything is changing constantly. We are changing, our environment is changing, the way we do business is changing, our world is changing. The question is, “In what ways are we changing and do we celebrate those changes?” Change can be more about opportunity than a challenge. Since everybody and everything is constantly changing, we ask ourselves “Is it always for the good?”
We live in such a fast paced world. Everybody is on warp speed trying to get everything done. Some people thrive on always having a full plate, while most of us are drained, exhausted, stressed and frazzled. It does not have to be like that. We can learn to slow down, become more comfortable with who we are, we can become more available and attract better, deeper relationships, we can relax more and stop feeling like we have to always be doing something all the time.
We can start by learning how to choose, not only our battles, but our schedules. Are you a all or nothing kind of person, doing very little in moderation? Keep in mind that we can ware ourselves out trying so hard to get it all done immediately. We tend to go completely overboard when trying to make changes in our lives. We wake up one day and think, “I need to make a change in my life.”, and then by the end of the day feel defeated because we didn’t accomplish the results we were looking for. It takes hard work and dedication to arrive at the goals we set for ourselves; it is especially important to remember that it takes baby steps to achieve the worthwhile things in life. Results never happen in a day or even overnight. By taking small steps when trying to change we will have a much better chance of accomplishing and achieving our goals.
People like recognition. We like it when others tell us that what we are doing is good, helpful and inspiring. That is what makes us feel good. But, again, we can ware ourselves out trying so hard to get the approval of others. Looking for that pat on the back and having someone tell us, “Good job”. If we are doing something in our lives that makes us happy and we feel good about, that is all that counts. We do not need to be worried about who approves.
Another thing that can be very stressful in our lives is opening ourselves up to other peoples emotional turmoil. We tend to try to solve everybody else’s problems other than our own. We spend more time caught up in other peoples excess baggage than concentrating on ours. We have a mindset that we need to handle everything that comes our way. But that is not true. What we should be doing is prioritizing. We need to make a list of whats important to us and our families and stick to that list. We need to learn to say “NO” to the things that don’t get us closer to the goals on our list.
So what is it that you want to change? Make a list of those things that you want to change in your life and don’t be too hard on yourself. Allow yourself time to evolve. Take responsibility for your internal change. Evolution is about constantly growing, and realizing that it doesn’t ever end. Don’t resist change, don’t be a person who has to hit a wall before they realize that change is inevitable. Ease into change. Know that things are going to change and allow yourself the gift of going with the flow of change.
As we change the people around us notice our changes and they will either change with us or they will resist the change. We should surround ourselves with the people that will support our changes and encourage us to change for the better. Change is good, and by changing the way we think about change, the more uninhibited we become. So lets celebrate our changes and realize that every single day is a day is another opportunity for change, we can wake up everyday and start all over again.
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How important is it for us to prosper, have a great self-image, communicate clearly, have worthwhile relationships, and live our lives knowing that we are always making the right decisions? Sound to good to be true? Well, that is what we can have if we live our lives in the moment instead of in the past or in the future. Its about living a life of Truth.
What is Truth? It is when stop using our intellect and start looking within ourselves to give us the information we need to be who we Truly are. This can be called our higher self, the voice of inner Wisdom, or our intuition but what is it really? Its all the information that we need that is available to us in each moment.
When we go inside to find Truth we are putting ourselves through a process of clearing out false beliefs, false memories and false images about ourselves and our lives. Its when we combine contemplation with meditation. Getting in tune with ourselves and releasing all data stored up inside our minds. And then receiving the Creative Energy we need to change our lives. Getting out of confusion and the dark. When we go within the light shines and that light reveals to us whatever information we need in the form of Creative Energy.
We are usually motivated to make a change in our lives when we are going through troubles. That’s when we start with self rejection, thinking we are not good enough the way we are, hating where we are. This is the engine that powers the train that motivates us to change. When we feel ourselves caught up in a web of self-defeating thoughts and actions. Where do we turn? Who has the answers? Where do I go from here? Mostly looking outside of ourselves for the answers. STOP! The first thing we need to do is go within to find the Love. We need to start embracing ourselves exactly where we, that’s where transformation happens.
Where does the Truth that is within us come from? When we are confused and need clear direction in our lives we think that our answers are somewhere out there. Truth isn’t something that we receive from someone or something as a one time gift and then we can move on with Wisdom, Knowledge and Truth firmly planted in us, no longer having to think about it. We are always flowing, moving, and growing, therefore, we have to be aware at all times, constantly living moment to moment. Then Truth is revealed to us from within, not without. We are given the grace to see that we need Truth and then we can start the process of removing false and receiving Truth. Then the light comes in and we get a wake up call and the Creative Energy starts flowing.
So many of us today are struggling financially. Why is that and how can we gain the Truth we need to get out of our situations? Each of us struggles for our own reasons, however the beauty is when we go within to receive our Truth, the questions we ask ourselves are a reflection of our individual struggles, therefore, our Truth will be geared toward our own personal belief system we have stored inside our minds. When we do the work of letting go of false beliefs and ideas that hold us back, we will get the answers that we need.
So if the question we ask ourselves is “why am I not there yet?”, we won’t get the correct answer because that can’t be the question. That question will only reveal the false, because that question is a rejection of where we are and now we are caught in the negative which is false. That is self rejection that can never guide us to the Truth. Truth can only be revealed in the moment, that is the only Real. That is where Love, Power, Wisdom and Light reside and where we can, then, receive our Creative Energy. So, the question we should be asking is, “What are the false beliefs and ideas I have that I need to understand? What is preventing me from receiving the Truth I want?”
When we are in Truth, we can embrace ourselves exactly where we are, because that’s where all our information is. So don’t let our questions to ourselves be about the negative or the false beliefs or ideas we have, because what we want is to be in Truth. Falseness is a rejection of ourselves and where we are because we think we want to be in a better or different place. Truth allows us to be exactly where we are so we can learn. If we do not recognize where we are and accept it with total non-judgement then we can’t learn from it and then find Truth which leads to receiving the Creative Energy that changes our lives.
There are a lot of people who are overwhelmed with all the responsibilities in life, many of us would like to have more focus and more direction in our life. We have a belief that it will take to much time. That is not Truth, because if we have time to breath, then we have time to know Truth, its that easy. Truth is the moment we are in. If we ask ourselves a question, we can close our eyes, relax, trust that the answer will come, and the rest is not our business. When we focus on our breath in and our breath out, then our Truth will arise from us and we will receive our Creative Energy.
Falseness guarantees our suffering, and we do not need to suffer. The questions we ask ourselves determine whether we let go of false beliefs and ideas and find Truth or if we remain in the dark, trying so hard to find the way out. Because Truth is all about self acceptance and acceptance of all those around us, wherever we are, the false focuses on rejection. How many questions do we ask ourselves everyday? We have so many questions and if they are rejecting, then we cannot come to the Truth. We need to be willing to go inside ourselves and accept ourselves just the way we are and be accepting of others just the way they are, and from that place we will naturally evolve, move and grow, it can’t be helped. From there we get the Creative Energy we need to move forward and change our lives.
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With all the tools we have available to us now a days we have become a society that has so much power. But, how do we use this power? This power is a creative power that can be used to destroy or we can use it to evolve. So the question is what do we as individuals want to create? Your decision has the power to make or break humanity as a whole. It is in your hands.
It is our individual duty to humanity to make a conscious effort to do good with the opportunities that come our way. We can make a decision to put our efforts towards, expressing our goodness, or to destroy with our creativity, the choice is up to us. The kind of power we have at our disposal is the kind of power that used to be attributed to gods. This is the kind of power that can destroy our environment and our world or we can do great things and evolve into a more superior species. It is in your hands.
It is obvious that our world is in crisis, and this crisis can be used as a driving force to push us to evolve or devolve and go extinct. It is that serious. It seems that we are just starting to wake up to the fact of how serious things are. As we continue to awaken in the next few years, we will start asking ourselves serious questions about the direction we want to take regarding our environment, energy, education, etc…Then we can become innovators. It is in your hands.
We are creative beings, so lets ask ourselves, what do we want to create? What kind of society do we want to create? With all the power and all the knowledge that is available we have it in our control to create whatever kind of world we want. The palate is clean, we can write on it or paint on it whatever we want to. We do not have any idea of what kind of world we will create because we have nothing to go by, there is no model for us to look at and say, that’s were we need to be. It is in your hands.
There is a power shift happening all over the world and it is women who are heading the movement to change our world. It used to be said that after menopause, women were done. That since we were done with child bearing we were done with our contribution to society. But the truth is after 50 women are becoming more vital, more creative, and more beautiful. As long as we keep ourselves active, as long as we still have a passion, and as long as we are curious enough to want to learn new things. This is what gives us a sense of purpose, and a reason to stay creative. This then changes our mind set and we no longer feel the need to want to be younger. Life after 50 is about using all the wisdom, knowledge and creativity we have accumulated through the years. This is such a new concept that we do not have very many role models to fashion ourselves after. It is in your hands.
Our crisis in the world may be getting worse, but the scope of opportunities are greater for us now than they have ever been. There is a lot more freedom for women to become more innovative, creative and forge the path to the evolution of the human race. We come from an unconditional love and passion that is far beyond anything that can be imagined. When we as women fall in love with our passion to create, we become so focused on it that we just have to share it. Its not about competition, it about the love and passion behind what it is we want to create. It becomes not about what we want to get, but what we want to give. It is in your hands.
When we strive so hard to make money, its all about making a living, but when we are being creative, passionate and giving, then its more about creating a life. We women have a natural sexual energy about us, even after 50, that same energy is the energy we use to create. Whether it be a human life or our passion. This sexual, creative energy is then shared with others, which then fills us up. It fills our hearts, our brains, our intuition, and our whole unique selves. We tap into our unique gifts, and the sharing of these gifts are what give us a sense of purpose, spiritually, socially, and individually. It is in your hands.
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How to live a happy life.
To live a life of wellness is to live happy, healthy lives. Which in turn helps us to live lives of prosperity, passion and have satisfying relationships. When we live a more optimal life, the happier we are and the more fulfilled we are, then we have more to give to others.
So, what does it mean to live a happy life? Some women run on an energy of just enough, an, “if I could just make it through the day” kind of energy, but the idea of having a happy life is about having more than enough. Do you give yourself the privledge of being happy everyday, or are you doing so much for everyone else, you do not have time for yourself. Grant yourself permission to be happy even if you just have to go through the motions. Being happy is not about seeking perfection. Its about being who you are and living your life the best that you can based on your circumstances. Its about taking time to do what you enjoy as an individual, your own time set aside to do what makes you feel good about yourself. Being happy is not a generic check list that is suitable for everyone. Its personal, because you are worth it. You can no longer afford to say not now. You deserve to be happy, its important, and its a necessity. So how can you find what your personal happiness is?
First of all think about your quality of life. Are you living each moment? Finding happiness in the present is very important to finding longevity. Thinking about your health, your fitness and knowing that when you love yourself, you will take care of yourself.
Make sure that you accept the past and live a life with no regrets. Accept the way your life is now, be thankful for what you have. Accept where you are headed, make different choices to get you to where you want to be.
Be resourceful. Connect with the people around you and let them know what your plans are and you will be surprised at who will be there to help you make it through.
Stay curious about life. Be open to experiences that come your way. You can create the life you want by letting go of your fears about the unknown.
Live an authentic life. Be yourself. This journey is about you and who you are and what you want. The only way anyone can be happy in life is to be themselves.
Accept personal responsibility for your life. Don’t blame others or your circumstances for what is or has gone on in your life. You can only control you. You cannot control what other people do or say. Focus on yourself and what you are doing and clear out of your life anything or anyone that doesn’t fit into your plans.
Above all celebrate life. Celebrate yourself, your life, and your accomplishments. Celebrate, not just the major accomplishments, but every little hurdle you overcome. Happiness in life depends on the celebration of life. Live joyfully and you will create a happy life. If all you ever deal with is problems in your life, then all you will have is a problem life.
Lastly, find triggers that will help remind you of what you need to live a happy life. Set out a yoga mat to remind you to take care of yourself. Put a big bowl of fruit on your dinning room table to remind you to eat healthier. Whatever it is that you need to work on find something that will help you to remember.
Give yourself permission to be happy. Find little things throughout the day that remind you to live happy . We each have a different things that make us happy, we’re not all the same. We no longer need to wait for some thing to happen before we can live happy. As women who are mothers, have careers and are caregivers, we owe it to ourselves personally, professionally, and socially to live a happy life. Make it an adventure. Embrace opportunities, go for it, you’ll be HAPPY you did!
LIVE THE SWEET LIFE
Learn how to free your soul!
We’ve heard the saying “Free your mind”, but free your soul? What does it mean to free your soul?
We as women have preconditioned beliefs about who we’re supposed to be. Freeing our soul is a way of allowing our “soul self” to shine through and live the life were supposed to lead.
One of the conditioned beliefs we may have is that girls must be girls. That women need to look and act a certain way in order to be accepted. We do not feel like we are allowed to be ourselves; to be who we authentically are.
Then there is the need to be all things to all people. Selfishness vs selflessness. This is such a common problem with women. When we think that we have neglected to fulfill someones need, then we have the feeling of being failure. Women have the belief that if we do not do it all, or if we ask for help, then we are being selfish.
Another conditioned belief is the victim mentality. We women have an uncanny way of being able to put ourselves into “victim mode”. We feel like the whole world is against us. We become defeated and won’t stand up for ourselves. We make others responsible for our happiness. Thinking that we are victims comes from not speaking our truth, from a lack of feeling worthy, not entitled, or that we feel like we’re not allowed to have what we want in life.
In order to change these conditioned beliefs and free our souls we must change our mindset. We must allow ourselves to be full and complete. Have a feeling of self-full-ness instead of selfishness or selflessness. If we do not give love to ourselves, we can not fully give all our love to others. We need to realize that we are the victim of our own self; our own mental processes, before we can be a victim of someone else.
So start becoming aware of your own conditioned beliefs and raise your soul esteem by becoming a version of our highest truth.
Use your intuition, your gut feeling and tap into your inner energy that is authentic, so that you can start living a life of true well being.
LIVE THE SWEET LIFE